'See the World!'

Ten years ago I got my first passport and took my first trip abroad, taking a two-week tour of Ireland that I absolutely adored. I went back to Ireland the following year with some friends and spent one week exploring Dublin.

My passport expired earlier this year with just those two stamps.

I live near one small airport and work near another much larger airport. On the drive to work, I see the road conditions sign sharing the time it would take for me to get to the larger international airport; some days it's as little as 10 minutes.

I imagine myself blowing off work and driving those 10 minutes to the airport and flying off somewhere with just the clothes on my back and whatever I may have in my purse. Where would I go? What would I do? How would I get around? The idea is both terrifying and exhilarating.

I'll probably never have the guts (or disposable income) to run away like that, but I do hope I can do more traveling. Since my last trip to Ireland in 2003, I've been lucky enough to see much more of the United States. I can't get enough of New York. I've visited Detroit, Cleveland, Indianapolis, Raleigh/Durham, Nashville, Seattle and San Francisco. I've never been to Hawaii, so should probably do that, but think I'd be happier going to Chicago or Washington DC again, plus New York a few dozen more times. Then there's Dublin again, Belfast, London, Paris, Rome, Athens, Sydney, Auckland, Barcelona, Madrid, Berlin, St. Petersburg …

My cousin Donna, this week's contributor, has done quite a bit of traveling since she turned 35, and so much more. She's another great example for me to follow in this and so many ways.

When she was 37, Donna spent a month in Italy, with two weeks at language school and two weeks traveling. Shortly after she returned from Italy, she got a job as a benefits manager at another firm, a position she still has and loves. At 38, she bought a house and became a landlord by renting out her townhouse. Donna bought a road bike, which she likes much better than the mountain bike, and has ridden several century (100-mile) rides. At 42, Donna started playing a musical instrument again after a 20-year hiatus. At 43, she married the man she began dating when she was 35 and changed her name. This year, she became the president of the local chapter of her professional association.

Your name Donna M. (fka Donna B.)

What year did you turn 35? 2002

Where were you living then? In the townhouse I recently purchased, in San Rafael, California (in the San Francisco Bay Area)

What were you doing then (working, going to school, raising kids, etc.)? Working

What big personal milestones happened when you were 35 (got married, bought a house, moved to a new city, started a new job, etc.)? On the personal side, I was in a somewhat new relationship with the man I would eventually marry. That year I obtained a passport for the first time and traveled to China and Mongolia—wow, what an experience! I bought a mountain bike (on my birthday). I rode it for a while and then it started gathering dust (more on this one later). On the professional side, I finished a 10-course masters-level program and obtained the Certified Employee Benefit Specialist (CEBS) designation. I had just finished transitioning the office's benefit plans with the firm we had merged with the prior year. I was promoted to HR manager (out of a job I loved, into a job I hated)—we called it a Mafia promotion. I ended up impersonating an HR manager for the next three years. I'm afraid there are lots of other milestones I have forgotten. Sigh.

What major events happened in the world that year? Like the other contributors, I had to look this up. No Child Left Behind was signed. The winter Olympics were in Salt Lake City, Utah. Chandra Levy's disappearance was in the headlines. The U.S. invaded Afghanistan. The Anaheim Angels defeated the SF Giants to win the World Series. This was the year of the first anniversary of 9/11. U2 performed the Super Bowl halftime show.

What are your favorite memories of being 35? I loved traveling and seeing that people everywhere are basically the same. Things were going pretty well in my personal and professional life and I was starting to feel more like a "grown up."

What did you like best about yourself at that age? I was feeling self-sufficient. I didn't feel like I had it all, but felt like I was making my way. After college I worked long hours in the office. Around this time I was leaving work at a more reasonable hour.

What did you like least about yourself at that age? Looking back I see that I was going with the flow, seeing where life would take me. I could have taken more initiative to direct my life.

What were the biggest lessons you learned at that age? Save money so you can take big vacations.

What were the biggest misconceptions you had about being 35? I've got all the time in the world.

What was the most surprising thing about being 35? I'll have to take a pass on this one. Can't think of anything at the moment.

If you could go back to that age knowing what you know now, what would you do differently? See answer above about what I liked least.

What advice can you offer to other 35-year-old women? Learn to manage your money and save for retirement. The more you save now, the less you'll have to save later. Don't delay!

'Not if I See You First'

Toward the end of "Stand By Me," the adult Gordie sums up the movie with the line, "I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was 12. Jesus, does anyone?" For me, I've never had friends later on like the ones I had when I was 22.

I got my first real job that fall, working as an editorial assistant at a business magazine and actually putting my degree to use. The other editorial assistants, a few of the copy editors and a few of the writers I worked with were the same age and we all clicked. I'm still close with those friends and we've weathered so much together over the past 13 years—layoffs, cross-country moves, marriages, starting businesses, growing up.

The instant click I felt with those coworkers-turned-friends is one of the great blessings of my life. These are the kinds of friends that no matter how much time has passed between phone calls, e-mails or visits, we're able to pick right up again. These are the people I close down restaurants and loiter in parking lots with.

As I get older, I know the chances of building new friendships that are like my old friendships is pretty slim, same as the adult Gordie realized. How likely is it that I will find myself in the position I found myself in 13 years ago, working with people who were the same age, had the same major, liked many of the same things, and had similar temperaments and outlooks? I won't bet the farm on it.

What I will do, though, is keep my heart open for any new people who might find their way into my atmosphere and put in the work to hold onto all the old friends I've been lucky enough to meet over the years.

One of those friends, the person whose desk I inherited on my first day of work in Oct. 1999, turned 36 earlier this year and shared some of her experiences of being 35.

Your name Lori F.

What year did you turn 35? 2011

Where were you living then? West New York, New Jersey

What were you doing then (working, going to school, raising kids, etc.)? Working, working and working. I spent most of the year trying to achieve some sort of work-life balance, but in the end work won out. I think that's what tends to happen when you're a single working girl. You need to make a conscious effort to set aside time for other things that fulfill you, because if you don't, work becomes your life and that impacts how you feel about everything around you. I'm thankful every day that I have a job, but I have to always remember that it is just a job.

What big personal milestones happened when you were 35 (got married, bought a house, moved to a new city, started a new job, etc.)? My 35th year wasn't very eventful for me, and that's OK. There have been times when I've felt like something just needed to happen, something big to get me out of a funk, but then I would remind myself that isn't always the answer. A huge event or milestone doesn't necessarily need to be the trigger for change. It can happen on an ordinary day while you're carrying on your daily routine when it finally hits you—that you need to be the trigger for change.

What major events happened in the world that year? I had to cheat a little on this one. For some reason world events have become a huge blur for me. I remember that certain things have happened, but I can't always remember when they happened. The years are starting to go by faster, but it also feels like everything happened a lifetime ago.

Let's see, last year Japan was hit with a huge earthquake that triggered a tsunami causing mass destruction, both Osama bin Laden and Gadhafi were killed, it was the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 terror attacks, Rupert Murdock and News of the World got caught up in the hacking scandal, the U.S. space shuttle program ended, a gunman went on a shooting spree at a camp in Norway, riots broke out in London, Occupy Wall Street started, Steve Jobs died, "The Oprah Winfrey Show" ended, Will and Kate got married, and million other things I can't seem to remember. It's odd that most of the events I remember are negative things. We need more good news in the world.

What are your favorite memories of being 35? As I get older, I find myself cherishing the time I spend with family and friends. I don't mean to be depressing and morbid, but the reality is that we are all getting older and we're not going to live forever. When we remember this, it's kind of like a kick in the butt that reminds us to spend time with those we love and to make the most of that time. As much as I love celebrating the big moments in life, it's the smaller ones that mean the most to me, like laughing uncontrollably with my sister, talking with friends in a parking lot for hours, making someone smile after a bad day, or having a good conversation with my mom. I want to have more of those memories in my life.

What did you like best about yourself at that age? I liked that I was still a work in progress. I'm still learning and evolving because that's what life is all about. It's nice that I can still surprise myself from time to time.

What did you like least about yourself at that age? The one thing I don't like about getting older is how I feel physically. When you're young you take your body for granted. You eat things that are bad for you, you don't get enough rest and you drink way too much, but somehow, your body rebounds and you power through it all. At 35, my body definitely didn't feel the same.

One day I was sitting on my couch, struggling to breathe, putting too much effort into getting up from the couch, not fitting into my clothes and just feeling tired, lethargic and depressed. On Feb. 1, as I was approaching the end of 35 and closing in on 36, I decided I'd had enough and started something I called "The Routine" to help get me out of this physical torture I'd created for myself. I woke up early and started working out for 30 minutes a day. I started taking a multivitamin. I changed my diet so I was eating smaller portions and more fresh foods. I also made a conscious effort to reduce the amount of sugar I consumed, which was one of the hardest things for me to do because of my insane sweet tooth.

Although I hit a few bumps along the way and had to tweak my schedule, I found myself feeling better about myself. I'm still not completely where I want to be and I know I'll never have a 21-year-old body again, but it's enough that I'm losing weight at a healthy pace and that these changes in my routine have greatly improved my mood.

What were the biggest lessons you learned at that age? I learned that I needed to get my butt off the couch and do something. I needed to push myself and go beyond my comfort zone. I realized that I had to put the same effort into my love life as I did with my career if I wanted to see results. So, with a little push from a friend at work, I created my first online dating profile. Now all I need to do is find someone to contact and go on a date with that person. I'm taking it one step at a time and hopefully one day I'll find the courage to go for it, full speed ahead.

What were the biggest misconceptions you had about being 35? I always thought I had to have it all figured out by the time I was 35. When I was 18 I had a very clear plan for myself: Go to college, graduate, get a job, get married, have children, quit the day job to take care of the kids and become a full-time writer. According to my plan I should be happily married and living in a four-bedroom house in SoCal with our three kids and a few published books under my belt. That is nowhere near my reality and that's OK. I don't need to have it all figured out. The only thing that really matters is that I'm doing what I need to do, on my own terms and in my own time, while I'm doing the things that make me happy.

I also thought I'd feel like more of a grown-up at 35. I thought my taste in music, movies, books and everything else would change, become more sophisticated or "adult," but I've found that I like a lot of things that are childish and considered guilty pleasures, but that's perfectly fine. The people of my generation like what they like and they make no apologies for it. I'm 35 and I like to watch teenybopper shows and read comics—and I don't care what anyone else thinks.

What was the most surprising thing about being 35? How normal it felt. That seems to be the one thing that surprises me about every milestone birthday. It's kind of like New Year's Eve. The clock strikes midnight, but nothing seems different. Nothing magical happens, you don't miraculously know the answers to every life question, and there isn't a whole lot of fanfare unless you have big birthday party.

If you could go back to that age knowing what you know now, what would you do differently? I'd sit down and focus more so I could finish at least one of the millions of projects floating around in my head. While I was 35 it finally hit me that there was a lot of crap being written and turned into successful movie franchises, and that I should be one of those people cashing in on this whole crapfest. Every year I promise myself that I'll write more, keep up my blog or finish one of the many unfinished stories sitting on my hard drive, but I never do because I get distracted or just plain lazy. I really need to buckle down and focus in my 36th year so I can get something done.

What advice can you offer to other 35-year-old women? Enjoy it. No matter what you're doing, where you are, who you're with, just enjoy being 35 because you're only 35 once.

'Hey World, I'm 35!'

To earn airline miles, I take surveys and polls that often ask for my age for clarification purposes so the market research firm can tell its client that right-handed 34-year-old college-educated women feel this way about bleach or paper towels or whatever.

Tomorrow, I'm jumping up a box.

After much pondering and fretting and, likely, too much time dedicated to this topic than it maybe deserves, I'll be 35 in just a few hours. Hmm.

I'm still not sure how I feel about being this adult age. Am I grown up? Am I mature enough? Serious enough? Am I on the right path? Do I know what I want? Do I know enough to get what I want? Still 34, the answer to all those questions is "probably".

It's not definitive but it's the best I can do right now, which is fine. "Probably" is much better than "definitely not" and very surely on the road to "certainly". Maybe in a few months, I'll be all the way there.

I don't want to hide my age or apologize for my life, which I think is the best place to be regardless of your age. If I can still feel this way a year from now, that's a very good thing.

Since I don't have a crystal ball, I can't accurately project what I'll be thinking or feeling a year from now when I'm just on the other side of 35. Luckily, I have friends who can share that insight with me.

A dear friend, former colleague and partner-in-crime who recently turned 36 offers some practical and reassuring advice in this installment.

Your name (first name and last initial) Maggie I.

What year did you turn 35? 2011

Where were you living then? Washington, D.C.

What were you doing then (working, going to school, raising kids, etc.)? Working!

What big personal milestones happened when you were 35 (got married, bought a house, moved to a new city, started a new job, etc.)? No real milestones that year, except for turning 35.

What major events happened in the world that year? Sadly, I had to Google this. Earthquake and tsunami in Japan, royal wedding, revolutions kick off in the Middle East, riots in the UK, the Great Recession continues, the Mars Rover launches, the war in Iraq officially ends.

What are your favorite memories of being 35? Watching the royal wedding in the middle of the night with my parents and sister, decked out in plastic jewels and tucking into scones. Regular weekend fun and relaxation with my boyfriend. My sister's visit to Washington, D.C.

What did you like best about yourself at that age? A growing sense of contentment

What did you like least about yourself at that age? My sun spots and increasing blotchiness!

What were the biggest lessons you learned at that age? Circumstances don't determine how content you are. You can find contentment in most circumstances. Also, totally unrelated: When shopping for clothes, fit makes all the difference. Just because something isn't obviously a bad fit [that] doesn't mean it's a good fit, and I want/need a good fit!

What were the biggest misconceptions you had about being 35? That I was old. Now that I'm 36, 35 doesn't seem so bad! I'm sure it'll be the same next year.

What was the most surprising thing about being 35? The physical changes that hit soon after my birthday: quickly weakening muscles, hormonal drops, fading memory (hence the need to Google 2011's major events). How hard it is to get into shape. Also, the fact that even though 35 sounded old to me, I felt as though I was young—about five years younger than I am. I think not owning a home, being married or having children helped with that.

If you could go back to that age knowing what you know now, what would you do differently? Honestly? Save up to have my sun spots zapped. I can still do that at age 36, I just wish it were done already.

What advice can you offer to other 35-year-old women? Relax. Enjoy the stage you're at. And don't let anyone treat you as though your circumstances should be different, especially when it comes to marriage and kids. Circumstances don't make your life what it is. Life is not a competition, and people who treat it like it is are slaves to their egos, but life is infinitely richer and more joyful without an ego to satiate.

Is there anything else you'd like to share about your experiences being 35? You're still young. Really!

The First Day of the Rest of Your Life

New Year's and birthdays are presented as perfect opportunities to make big changes, shake things up, take those first steps to completely change your life. It's so easy to invest in the idea that these days have magical, transformational powers, but the truth is that New Year's or your birthday is a day just like any other.

This was hard for me to accept when I was younger. I thought my birthdays would be magical, or at least special. I thought I'd wake up taller, smarter, prettier, more confident, but rarely did. I didn't wake up with long flowing hair on my eighth birthday despite all my wishing. I wasn't any more mature the day I turned 16 than I was the day before when I was still 15.

Life changes tend to amass over days, weeks, months, years. You work up to those goals and breakthroughs by taking many steps, chipping away, very rarely does anything happen all at once. And if your life does change that quickly, it could just as easily happen on some random Tuesday as it could on New Year's or your birthday.

Even though I know all this, even though I'm pretty certain that the day of my 35th birthday will be like every other day, the only difference being I'll sleep in a bit because I'm taking the day off, I still have that tiniest bit of hope that something extraordinary will happen. I don't have a vision of what it will be just that I'd like it to be. Maybe it won't be one big extraordinary thing but the spark or movement toward that big extraordinary life-changing event.

That was my colleague Joni's 35th birthday. An unexpected phone call the morning of her birthday put into the motion a series of events that did change her life for the better. Since turning 35, Joni got married, had two beautiful daughters, traveled to several countries, saved up enough money to buy another house and changed industries after more than 20 years.

Before all that, she turned 35 and got that phone call.

Your name Joni O.

What year did you turn 35? 2003

Where were you living then? Harbor City, California

What were you doing then (working, going to school, raising kids, etc.)? When I turned 35, I was working full-time for the same company where I am currently employed. I was single, living with my dog Rocky.

What big personal milestones happened when you were 35 (got married, bought a house, moved to a new city, started a new job, etc.)? The morning of my 35th birthday, the phone rang at 6:45 a.m. I couldn't imagine who would be calling me that early in the morning; it was an old boyfriend from several years prior who called to say he remembered my birthday and wanted to send me well wishes. That phone call led me down a path I thought I would never travel. We began dating immediately and traveled to Egypt several months later on vacation. It was a destination that I told him I had always wanted to visit and he was interested as well. A few days into our trip, he proposed to me on a camel in Giza in front of the pyramids, a day I will never forget.

What major events happened in the world that year? The Do Not Call List started providing consumers with an opportunity to limit telemarketing calls. Harley-Davidson Motor Cycles celebrated its 100th birthday. California voters recalled Gov. Gray Davis from office and elected Arnold Schwarzenegger to succeed him. The Space Shuttle Columbia disintegrated over Texas upon reentry, killing all seven astronauts onboard. The highly infectious disease SARS (Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome) spread from China, Singapore and Vietnam. Worldwide, nearly 9,000 people were infected in 15 countries and over 800 died from the effects. Saddam Hussein was captured by U.S. forces. The Asian bird flu outbreak, also known as avian influenza, had people in a panic.

What are your favorite memories of being 35? I fell in love and began the next chapter of my life.

What did you like best about yourself at that age? I felt very independent, financially secure and comfortable with my life, and was always planning the next item to accomplish on my "bucket list."

What were the biggest lessons you learned at that age? Anything can happen in a moment's time that will change the rest of your life. We all have the ability to make choices to change our life at any given moment, the question is will you take the risk of the unknown for change? I did and I have no regrets.

What were the biggest misconceptions you had about being 35? I'd never find a man and have a family, I was too old. I wasn't even sure if I wanted kids at that time in my life.

What advice can you offer to other 35-year-old women? It's never too late to fall in love or start a family. If you really want a family, adopt!

Two Weeks' Notice

One of my precious nieces turns five this month. When she let me know the other day that she would be five in two weeks, I asked her what she was going to do in her last two weeks as a four-year-old. We shared a few ideas and she decided she'd like to learn how to tell time between now and her birthday.

I'm confident she will.

I want my niece, and everyone else, to make the most out of every day, to learn to do as many new things as possible, see as much of the world as possible, laugh as much as possible, create as much as possible, love and be loved as much as possible. With just two weeks until my milestone birthday, time and experience are more and more on my mind, and I know that I want so much more of both.

I'm taking notes from as many people as I can, both people in my life and people I admire from afar. One of the women in the world I admire most is Madonna, who turns 54 the day after I turn 35. I'd love for her to answer one of my surveys because I know she'd have so much to share and I also feel like her life after 35 is something to aspire to—giving birth to two children, adopting two more children, launching six record-shattering world tours, writing a bestselling children's book series, launching three successful clothing and accessory lines, winning six Grammy Awards, getting inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, winning two Golden Globe Awards, releasing eight acclaimed albums …

Without a doubt, Madonna is a good role model. My mom is, too, and was kind enough to be my guinea pig in this project and be my first profile subject. Since turning 35, my mom earned her teaching credential and fulfilled a lifelong dream of becoming an elementary school teacher, earned a Master's degree in educational administration, was honored for 25 years of service to her school district, bought her first house, began teaching at the college level, and became a grandmother.

Before she could do all that, here's what my mom was doing when she was 35:

Your name? Beverly S.

What year did you turn 35? 1985

Where were you living then? Ontario, California

What were you doing then (working, going to school, raising kids, etc.)? I was working a part-time job, maybe two! and I was going to Cal Poly, Pomona finishing my teaching credential. I was a student teacher at Berlyn School in Ontario and Cucamonga Elementary. I was also mom to my two kids. Without the help of my parents, I would not have been able to manage it all.

What big personal milestones happened when you were 35? I was finally able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Even though I was so exhausted that I came down with pneumonia, I knew I would soon have a teaching job. I kept reminding the kids that this was only temporary and we would soon be better off financially and I wouldn’t have to work two jobs.

What major events happened in the world that year? I looked it up and found lots of political things and economic things and a few natural disasters but I gravitated toward the songs that my children and I were singing along to while going around doing errands—"Born in the USA" by Bruce Springsteen, "We Are the World" USA for Africa, Madonna's "Like a Virgin," "What's Love Got to Do With It" by Tina Turner, "One Night In Bangkok" by Murray Head, "Just A Gigolo/I Ain't Got Nobody" by David Lee Roth. All of these were fun, made you think you had the power to do something and gave me hope. On television I was watching "Cagney & Lacey" and "MacGyver," which were smart and entertaining. The Live Aid pop concerts in Philadelphia and London raised over $50 million for famine relief in Ethiopia. As a mom, I wanted my children to know they could make a difference.

What are your favorite memories of being 35? Spending simple times with my kids. We went to the mall every weekend. We talked and talked! I remember giving them a bunch of change and they would sit outside my class at Cal Poly. They could buy things from the vending machines!

What did you like best about yourself at that age? I had professors who told me I was brilliant! I had not heard this before and it meant so much to me.

What did you like least about yourself at that age? My weight and health were really beginning to become a problem that would last for the next 20 years. I agonized over how this was affecting my children. I wished so much that we had money to do the things that the kids wanted to do.

What were the biggest lessons you learned at that age? To listen to my children. I also learned that what seems like an eternity of time goes by very quickly. I had a group of friends who would meet for fun and for prayer. Their life stories and their faith were of great support to me. They believed in me.

What were the biggest misconceptions you had about being 35? That this was how it was going to be forever! That I had to work really hard and not allow myself down time.

What was the most surprising thing about being 35? That other people who were 35 were so immature!

If you could go back to that age knowing what you know now, what would you do differently? I would realize how precious my mental and physical health is and take more significant steps to make sure that I was healthy. I kept thinking I could take care of it later and soon it was almost too late. I would not have let fear and depression get a hold of me.

What advice can you offer to other 35-year-old women? Be the woman you want to be. If you have partner, fine but don't let that partner define you. If you are single, take pride in it and surround yourself with positive friends, groups that can support you, laugh with you and give you love while taking the same from you. Someone once said you need a younger friend to remind you of the future, a friend your own age to share with and an older friend to remind you of the past. Cherish them all. You don't want to be younger, you've done that! Be exactly the age you are.

Is there anything else you'd like to share about your experiences being 35? My greatest joy at age 35 and everyday has been my two children, one of whom turns 35 this year. My love for her cannot be expressed, my pride for her is unbounded, and my dreams for her are nothing but for her happiness and fulfillment.