'Not if I See You First'

Toward the end of "Stand By Me," the adult Gordie sums up the movie with the line, "I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was 12. Jesus, does anyone?" For me, I've never had friends later on like the ones I had when I was 22.

I got my first real job that fall, working as an editorial assistant at a business magazine and actually putting my degree to use. The other editorial assistants, a few of the copy editors and a few of the writers I worked with were the same age and we all clicked. I'm still close with those friends and we've weathered so much together over the past 13 years—layoffs, cross-country moves, marriages, starting businesses, growing up.

The instant click I felt with those coworkers-turned-friends is one of the great blessings of my life. These are the kinds of friends that no matter how much time has passed between phone calls, e-mails or visits, we're able to pick right up again. These are the people I close down restaurants and loiter in parking lots with.

As I get older, I know the chances of building new friendships that are like my old friendships is pretty slim, same as the adult Gordie realized. How likely is it that I will find myself in the position I found myself in 13 years ago, working with people who were the same age, had the same major, liked many of the same things, and had similar temperaments and outlooks? I won't bet the farm on it.

What I will do, though, is keep my heart open for any new people who might find their way into my atmosphere and put in the work to hold onto all the old friends I've been lucky enough to meet over the years.

One of those friends, the person whose desk I inherited on my first day of work in Oct. 1999, turned 36 earlier this year and shared some of her experiences of being 35.

Your name Lori F.

What year did you turn 35? 2011

Where were you living then? West New York, New Jersey

What were you doing then (working, going to school, raising kids, etc.)? Working, working and working. I spent most of the year trying to achieve some sort of work-life balance, but in the end work won out. I think that's what tends to happen when you're a single working girl. You need to make a conscious effort to set aside time for other things that fulfill you, because if you don't, work becomes your life and that impacts how you feel about everything around you. I'm thankful every day that I have a job, but I have to always remember that it is just a job.

What big personal milestones happened when you were 35 (got married, bought a house, moved to a new city, started a new job, etc.)? My 35th year wasn't very eventful for me, and that's OK. There have been times when I've felt like something just needed to happen, something big to get me out of a funk, but then I would remind myself that isn't always the answer. A huge event or milestone doesn't necessarily need to be the trigger for change. It can happen on an ordinary day while you're carrying on your daily routine when it finally hits you—that you need to be the trigger for change.

What major events happened in the world that year? I had to cheat a little on this one. For some reason world events have become a huge blur for me. I remember that certain things have happened, but I can't always remember when they happened. The years are starting to go by faster, but it also feels like everything happened a lifetime ago.

Let's see, last year Japan was hit with a huge earthquake that triggered a tsunami causing mass destruction, both Osama bin Laden and Gadhafi were killed, it was the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 terror attacks, Rupert Murdock and News of the World got caught up in the hacking scandal, the U.S. space shuttle program ended, a gunman went on a shooting spree at a camp in Norway, riots broke out in London, Occupy Wall Street started, Steve Jobs died, "The Oprah Winfrey Show" ended, Will and Kate got married, and million other things I can't seem to remember. It's odd that most of the events I remember are negative things. We need more good news in the world.

What are your favorite memories of being 35? As I get older, I find myself cherishing the time I spend with family and friends. I don't mean to be depressing and morbid, but the reality is that we are all getting older and we're not going to live forever. When we remember this, it's kind of like a kick in the butt that reminds us to spend time with those we love and to make the most of that time. As much as I love celebrating the big moments in life, it's the smaller ones that mean the most to me, like laughing uncontrollably with my sister, talking with friends in a parking lot for hours, making someone smile after a bad day, or having a good conversation with my mom. I want to have more of those memories in my life.

What did you like best about yourself at that age? I liked that I was still a work in progress. I'm still learning and evolving because that's what life is all about. It's nice that I can still surprise myself from time to time.

What did you like least about yourself at that age? The one thing I don't like about getting older is how I feel physically. When you're young you take your body for granted. You eat things that are bad for you, you don't get enough rest and you drink way too much, but somehow, your body rebounds and you power through it all. At 35, my body definitely didn't feel the same.

One day I was sitting on my couch, struggling to breathe, putting too much effort into getting up from the couch, not fitting into my clothes and just feeling tired, lethargic and depressed. On Feb. 1, as I was approaching the end of 35 and closing in on 36, I decided I'd had enough and started something I called "The Routine" to help get me out of this physical torture I'd created for myself. I woke up early and started working out for 30 minutes a day. I started taking a multivitamin. I changed my diet so I was eating smaller portions and more fresh foods. I also made a conscious effort to reduce the amount of sugar I consumed, which was one of the hardest things for me to do because of my insane sweet tooth.

Although I hit a few bumps along the way and had to tweak my schedule, I found myself feeling better about myself. I'm still not completely where I want to be and I know I'll never have a 21-year-old body again, but it's enough that I'm losing weight at a healthy pace and that these changes in my routine have greatly improved my mood.

What were the biggest lessons you learned at that age? I learned that I needed to get my butt off the couch and do something. I needed to push myself and go beyond my comfort zone. I realized that I had to put the same effort into my love life as I did with my career if I wanted to see results. So, with a little push from a friend at work, I created my first online dating profile. Now all I need to do is find someone to contact and go on a date with that person. I'm taking it one step at a time and hopefully one day I'll find the courage to go for it, full speed ahead.

What were the biggest misconceptions you had about being 35? I always thought I had to have it all figured out by the time I was 35. When I was 18 I had a very clear plan for myself: Go to college, graduate, get a job, get married, have children, quit the day job to take care of the kids and become a full-time writer. According to my plan I should be happily married and living in a four-bedroom house in SoCal with our three kids and a few published books under my belt. That is nowhere near my reality and that's OK. I don't need to have it all figured out. The only thing that really matters is that I'm doing what I need to do, on my own terms and in my own time, while I'm doing the things that make me happy.

I also thought I'd feel like more of a grown-up at 35. I thought my taste in music, movies, books and everything else would change, become more sophisticated or "adult," but I've found that I like a lot of things that are childish and considered guilty pleasures, but that's perfectly fine. The people of my generation like what they like and they make no apologies for it. I'm 35 and I like to watch teenybopper shows and read comics—and I don't care what anyone else thinks.

What was the most surprising thing about being 35? How normal it felt. That seems to be the one thing that surprises me about every milestone birthday. It's kind of like New Year's Eve. The clock strikes midnight, but nothing seems different. Nothing magical happens, you don't miraculously know the answers to every life question, and there isn't a whole lot of fanfare unless you have big birthday party.

If you could go back to that age knowing what you know now, what would you do differently? I'd sit down and focus more so I could finish at least one of the millions of projects floating around in my head. While I was 35 it finally hit me that there was a lot of crap being written and turned into successful movie franchises, and that I should be one of those people cashing in on this whole crapfest. Every year I promise myself that I'll write more, keep up my blog or finish one of the many unfinished stories sitting on my hard drive, but I never do because I get distracted or just plain lazy. I really need to buckle down and focus in my 36th year so I can get something done.

What advice can you offer to other 35-year-old women? Enjoy it. No matter what you're doing, where you are, who you're with, just enjoy being 35 because you're only 35 once.